Was Apple REALLY asleep at the wheel? Let’s hope not

A lot of people did not like hearing that their Macs were keeping them awake at night, especially not the blissfully oblivious. No one could really remember the last time the Magen David alarm dial was recalibrated, and at the time of writing it still appears not to be functional.

When had they last checked their wiring, a case of Cyber sleep? Or perhaps someone had some technical version of Cyberwar, an explosion of email over all Mac systems at once. It could have happened when your Mac reset and told the wrong side of the machine to reboot. Or the screen was off, or your MacBook Air might have found itself joining all the rest of your colleagues, despite the new password security that shipped with macOS High Sierra, and their individual user accounts would have been corrupted.

The suggestion that this was an industry-wide failure, and that Apple would have a national holiday, does not ring true. With the biggest brands in the world failing to encrypt their customer information, of the largest manufacturers of laptops and desks that customers trust with their sensitive data, perhaps no one feels particularly safe and can just switch their MacBook to silent mode?

Photograph: dpiimages/Rex Features

When was the last time Apple had an SECOND MAJOR PRODUCT RECALL AND FOUND THEMSELVES IN THE HEADLINES FOR THE RIGHT REASONS AGAIN?

With Apple, we’ve come to expect it to be an international emergency, in each case perfectly in keeping with the assumptions of Apple as the world’s most valuable brand, despite a long run of underwhelming products and slow as molasses adoption of newer innovations.

Outside of talking about how to avoid cat photos, Apple is really only renowned for being somewhat vapid and insipid, which is, to a degree, what Apple “sells” to people, but with these issues they are loudly exposed. When Apple are covered in the same light as car manufacturers, those apologies only tend to revolve around how not to talk about iPhone batteries – and then how to start again a week later.

The question remains – who fixed the button that wouldn’t stop beeping? When will Apple look back and apologise for distracting people from all the world’s important issues?

Photograph: Daniel Leal-Olivas/AFP/Getty Images

Interviewed online. @libwizickman

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